do you know how painful, pathetic to have almost absolutely no control over your own life? when you found something that you love doing and you had to give it up because they think it's useless and impratical. first, they blame you. then, they make you feel guilty for it. finally, you have no choice but to cave in and give in to them. you always tell people they give you alot of freedom, but sometimes you wonder, perhaps it's because they simply dont care at all. why do something you hate and suck at when you can do the other which you love and excel in? they just dont get. they just want you to follow the plans they've laid out for you. so what can you do? rebel? paste a smile on your face and pretend that nothing's wrong? be strong and tell yourself it's no use crying over it? i dont know. i no longer know what's right and what's wrong now.